


catalyze

by epsiloneridani



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Gen, Luke cares about his friends and wants to help, Morgan is a good brother, Reid needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-18 01:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18975817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epsiloneridani/pseuds/epsiloneridani
Summary: JJ flashes a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. She drives her teeth into her lip. "When Morgan left, it -- it hit Spence hard. I mean, he didn't talk about it but I knew. I knew."--Reid's struggling. Luke and JJ try to help.





	catalyze

It's like walking on glass.

Luke takes a step in Reid's direction and suddenly he's a mile and a half up and the ground is quaking, quaking, cracking, and he's not sure if it's a better idea to inch along or sprint ahead.

"You, uh, you still want these case files?"

Inching it is, then.

Reid spares him a sharp glance and snatches the folders. "Thanks," he says quickly, almost a mutter, and turns back to his computer. His pen tap, tap, clicks; he's rocking ever-so-subtly in his seat.

Luke hovers for a beat. "Hey, Reid?"

That sharp glance again. His face is impassive, like granite, but his gaze burns. "Yes?"

Out of the corner of his eye Luke spots JJ shifting, straining to see; he drops his tone. "You doin' okay lately?"

The mask breaks enough for Reid to wrinkle his nose. "I'm fine," he says, narrowing his eyes like Luke just accused him of being unfit, unable to do his job. "Why?"

Luke holds his hands up at his sides. "I don't know. You've just been--"

"What?"

JJ's gaze threatens to sear a hole through the side of his head. Luke shrugs helplessly. "Nothing," he says after a beat, strolling back to his desk. "It's nothing."

"Don't take it personally," JJ says later, when the lights are low and the office is empty because everyone else has gone home. "He just -- he gets like that sometimes."

Luke leans back in his chair. "Yeah," he says, "I noticed. Do we know why?"

She hesitates and he knows without having to ask that she's already tried - and failed - to get it out of him. JJ grimaces.

"Right," Luke says. "Not yet."

She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and furrows her brow. Nervous habit. They all have enough of those too. "Don't take this the wrong way," she says, and waits until he nods, "but sometimes I wish Morgan was still here."

Luke's been here almost three years and sometimes he still feels a void, an empty space he can neither place nor fill. It's like a vacuum. "He and Reid were close."

"Very." JJ flashes a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. She drives her teeth into her lip. "When he left, it -- it hit Spence hard. I mean, he didn't talk about it but I knew. I knew."

He's heard bits and pieces about the man he replaced, whispers and fragments of a hell that hit too close to home one too many times. Luke tilts his head. "They still talk?"

"Not as much. I don't think so, anyway." JJ fidgets with her hair again, tucking it impatiently behind an ear. "I just--"

"Just what?"

"When I didn't know what to say or how to help, Morgan did." Her voice drops, a hoarse croak. "And sometimes I wonder, if he'd still been * _here_ * before Mexico...."

Maybe Reid confides in him. Maybe Reid doesn't go to prison. Maybe Reid never gets those new scars or the hard glint in his eye or the way his hands shake when he sees a raw red band around a victim's neck. Maybe. Maybe.

"You can't live your life on maybes," Luke says at last. JJ nods quickly.

"I know." She clears her throat and winces. Her tone evens. "I know. But when he gets like this, when he won't talk to me, or to anyone...I don't know how to help him."

"We'll figure it out," Luke says. "We always do."

"Yeah," she mutters, "like we did before Mexico."

"JJ--"

"Anyway," she says, straightening her shoulders and lifting her chin. "I just -- I wanted you to know."

"Appreciate it."

When he gets home, he doesn't sleep.

"Everything okay?" Lisa asks and he looks up from his hands quick enough to catch the glint of worry in her eyes. She shutters it away.

"Yeah," he says, and tries to smile. "Yeah, I'm okay."

\--

The BAU is quiet like death.

"Put those back," Reid says, and Luke stops with the case-files halfway off the desk and raises an eyebrow. Spencer's jaw twitches. "...please."

"Not finished or--"

"I'll bring them back when I'm done."

Luke blinks at him. He can feel JJ's eyes on his back.

When Reid heads off to the break room, she follows. Three minutes later, she sinks back down into her chair. Reid's not with her.

Luke glances at her. She shakes her head. His phone buzzes.

_I don't know what to do._

He wants to send back _me either._  He doesn't.

_Prentiss?_

_Way ahead of you. Everyone's noticed._

Then everyone's said something. Luke glances at Reid. _Nothing?_

JJ grimaces. Her hands shake.

_No. Nothing._  
\--

Its all he can think of.

The stoop he's standing on overlooks a nice neighborhood, sidewalks winding through a suburb that backs up to a park. It's straight out of a storybook, a great place to raise a couple kids and have a cookout with your neighbors every other weekend. Luke grimaces. What's that like? How easy is it for them to feel safe, to walk down the street and just see people living their lives?

He doesn't know. He can't imagine it.

There are cameras on the roof, nestled in the corner of every window. The security system is state-of-the-art. They know someone's out here by now, if they're home -- or even if they're not.

Once you've seen the worst, you don't go back.

Luke knocks.

There's a beat, a beep, and then the door swings open.

Derek Morgan's trimmed the beard down since Garcia last showed him a photo on her phone. He's carrying a pad and has a pen tucked behind the ear not adorned with a wireless headset. It's all very * _business_ *, at odds with the faded jeans and tee, and for a second Luke wonders if he was a suit-and-tie kind of profiler like Hotch and Rossi or if he carried the casual look into the office and field alike.

"Can I help you?" Morgan asks, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, solidifying his stance. Luke extends one hand and holds up his badge with the other.

"SSA Luke Alvez. We've never been formally introduced."

Morgan stiffens but shakes his hand. "Did something happen?" he asks, setting the pad aside and folding his arms.

"Not exactly."

" _Not exactly?_ "

"No one's dead," Luke says.

Morgan raises an eyebrow.

"It's Reid."

_Ever since Reid went to prison Morgan's been touchy about it,_  Garcia told him when he asked for an address. _He worries._  Luke had nodded and thought he understood, but damn was he wrong.

_Touchy_  was an understatement.

The reaction's visceral. Morgan's shoulders coil. His jaw twitches. His right hand curls into a fist at his side and suddenly he's drawing even, measured breaths -- conscious control to keep his heartrate down.

"Is the k-...is Reid okay?"

"He's not dying or anything," Luke says quickly. "He just--"

"Come in," Morgan interrupts suddenly, and steps aside. He clicks the door shut the second Luke's clear.

"Nice place," Luke says. Morgan waves him follow and leads the way to the kitchen. It's only after he's set out a pitcher of water and two glasses that he turns, propping himself against the counter. His arms are folded, fingers drumming, drumming.

"What _about_  Reid?"

Luke pauses. "Have you talked to him?"

Morgan tilts his head. "Reid's been brief lately," he says evenly. "I just thought he was busy. Nothing to worry about."

For all of his calm and control there's still an anxious undercurrent. Nothing to worry about. Right. Lately. Right. "He needs help," Luke says.

Morgan frowns. "The Bureau has plenty of resources for counseling. Reid knows that."

"That's not what I mean."

Morgan tilts his head. His eyebrow twitches. "Then what _do_ you mean?"

"You moved back to Virginia," Luke says. "Almost right after Reid got out of prison."

"Savannah got a different job here. She's a surgeon now."

"And that's it?"

Morgan sighs, dragging a hand down his face, biting his lip and staring at the ceiling for a long moment. "I visited him again a few months after he got out of prison," he says at last. His voice aches. "He didn't react well to that so you'll understand if I don't just...."

"Look," Luke says, "you can't make it any worse. It's worth a shot."

Morgan hasn't touched his glass of water, just stares into it for a long beat. "He doesn't talk to me like he used to."

"Maybe it's not about talking. Maybe he just needs you to be there."

Morgan grimaces. When he sets the cup down, his hands are shaking.

"Give me ten minutes."  
\----

The second the elevator doors rattle open, JJ's _there._

"Luke, where the hell did you -- _Morgan?_ "

Morgan rumbles a laugh and pulls JJ into a hug. "It's so good to see you," she says, muffled against his shoulder.

"You too," Morgan says.

JJ squeezes for a long moment and then lets go. Her shoulders set back in a way that says she means business. Unease flickers across her face. "You didn't come all the way in here to see old friends."

"Actually I did,"Morgan says. The smile drops away. "Alvez told me about Reid."

JJ shoots him a glance. Luke lifts his hands helplessly. "I didn't know what else to do."

JJ tilts her head, an accession if not an agreement. Maybe he should have asked her to go with him. "We can catch up later," Morgan says. "Right now I need to know where Reid is."

"Bullpen."

Morgan strides away. Luke exchanges a glance with JJ, a silent question, and follows. The others have gone home for the day, though the light's still burning in Prentiss' office. The place should be shut down.

Reid's still at his desk. He doesn't look up when Morgan stops next to him. Tired, maybe. Luke hopes it's just _tired_.

If Morgan can't fix this, he doesn't know who will -- doesn't know who could.

"Hey, kid," Morgan says, and Reid's head snaps up. The case files fall to his desk. He pushes his seat back and stands, pressing the small of his back to the desk and folding his arms across his chest.

Morgan doesn't move, not noticeably, but he does take a step back, does give Reid another few inches to breathe. "What are you doing here?" Spencer asks blankly.

"Just came to see some friends." Morgan settles himself on the nearest flat surface, JJ's workspace.

Reid bristles -- just a second and it's gone. "Garcia's in her office. She'll be happy you're here."

"I'll talk to her."

Reid waits a beat.

"What's goin' on with you?" Morgan asks.

"I--"

"Reid, c'mon. I know something's up."

"It's nothing you have to worry about."

"Don't do that."

"Don't do _what?_ "

Morgan grimaces. "Don't shut me out," he says roughly. "Let me help you."

"Morgan, I don't need you to protect me."

The air stands still, seething, seething, and Luke remembers JJs words: _it hit him hard_ , remembers the hard glint in Reid's eyes when he got back from prison, remembers Morgan's _he had to learn how to survive_  and how he never said _alone_  while saying it the whole time.

It's like walking on glass.

Morgan strides.

"Spencer," he says, and some of the hardness in Reid's face slips away. "You've never needed me to protect you."

Reid's trembling.

"You've never needed me to protect you," Morgan repeats, daring a step forward. Another. "I watched you stare down the barrel of a gun just to save the kid on the other side. Do you remember that?"

"Yes," Reid croaks.

"I was pissed at first. You didn't have a vest. You could've gotten killed. And on the plane home I realized you knew that -- but saving that kid's life was more important to you than your own."

Morgan's in front of him. Reid stares at him. "Yeah, in the end it was about survival," Morgan says quietly. "And you survived. But deep down you're still Spencer Reid. You didn't let it change you -- not in the way you think."

"I'm sorry," Reid whispers hoarsely. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"You don't have to. I'm here."

Morgan pulls him close and winds his arms around him and holds, holds. Reid's almost clinging. "I gotcha, Spence," he says. "I gotcha. I'm here, kid. It's okay."

Reid's shoulders are shaking, heaving. Morgan catches sight of them, still hovering in the doorway, and nods ever-so-slightly. Reid's face is pressed into his shoulder; Morgan's rubbing soothing circles into his back.

"Morgan's got him," JJ says softly, tugging on Luke's arm. "We can go."

Luke follows her back to the elevators.

"Good call," she says, and he glances at her. "Calling Morgan."

"Hey, it was really your idea."

She snorts at that, but he grins and nudges her shoulder and suddenly she's smiling too. "Spence is gonna be okay," she says.

Her hands are still at her sides. No more shaking.

"Yeah," Luke says. "Yeah, he will."  
\----


End file.
